I can turn back time

Nov 04, 2024, 05:08 PM

I’m back at my annual holiday spot and it’s really highlighted the contrast between who I was last year and who I am now.

I’m sitting here on the first day drunk, stoned and vaping. Compare this to last year I was in the best shape I’ve been in my life, getting up at 5am every morning and going for a run along the beach.

I’m anxious and nervous to go to the pool in case I have to talk to someone. I used to LOVE talking to people when I was happy. I’m not happy.

I have my laptop doing work for a client but it’s back to what I originally escaped. The dependance on the weed to get me interested and focussed.

I used to be so much more disciplined. I used to be so much more focused. I used to be so much more driven.

I used to be so much more.

Those last two paragraphs were written by Cursor but they were appropriate.

The only thing I can do is start today in breaking those habits. Day by day I have to find the strength to stay away from the vices.